I May Never Find Love, and That Haunts Me Every Day

Some people are single by choice. Then there are others, like me, still holding onto the hope of finding someone to share life with. It’s not that I can’t embrace being single - because I can - but let’s be honest: humans aren’t meant to go through life entirely alone. The thought of growing old with no partner to spend my days with, in a house filled with things I don’t truly need, feels like a heavy shadow looming over my future.

It’s not just about companionship; it’s about the moments I’ve dreamed of my entire life. Walking down the aisle in a wedding dress, buying a home together, building a family; these are experiences I’ve always longed for. The idea of never having them is heartbreaking, not because society expects them of me, but because I want them. They are moments I’ve always thought about, and the possibility of missing out on them leaves a lingering ache.

People often tell me to embrace singlehood or remind me that the grass isn’t always greener on the other side. I understand their intentions, but it’s not about assuming life will be perfect if I have these experiences. It’s about wanting them for myself, not because they’re expected, but because they feel right for me. I don’t think it’s wrong to desire something deeply and hope for it to become my reality.

A friend once said he was relieved to have found someone, commenting on how daunting it is to find love in this day and age. Well, thanks for that insight, buddy, that’s exactly the world I’m navigating.

So yes, I may never find love. Yet, I haven’t stopped trying. I wade through the murky waters of situationships, endure ghosting, and meet my fair share of commitment-phobes. It’s exhausting, and honestly, universe - haven’t I done my time? Please, let me catch a break.

A girl can only hope.

Photo by Majid Rangraz on Unsplash